Dear, so many things I want to tell u but nowadays so scared to talk to u, cos u very sensitive and always angry, so I decided to write here, hope u will get to read this one day. I have made this private so nobody can read.
Let’s start with yesterday (2.1.2011). I woke up at 5am and didn’t sleep, I was very tired, so I suggested I take a cab to my mom’s home instead of driving, and u get angry.
Dear, u say u don’t want to go home, u asked me to go home myself even though I tell u I am very tired, I know I lack concentration so I want to take cab, and u say I “Forced” you to go with me, yes baby u said the word “FORCED” and u gave me a face immediately. I went back to my mom’s home and kept thinking, why ? why ? why ? Why u always angry ??? I didn’t even speak loud or do anything wrong this time. Furthermore, shouldn’t I be the one to be angry in this case ? Dear think, I let u use my car freely, I don’t get to use it. When u went drinking, one sms I went Jurong in 20mins to fetch u. Second time u went drinking, I sms you to offer to fetch you but u came home by cab yourself. Then when u play golf, I had to either take mrt home or wait for u in office for one hour. The last time at MBGC, I also went to pick u up. Dear think again, I give u so much convenience, and did I always ask u to drive me here and there ? U asked me to go take discs myself, I also went myself, but this time I am lack of sleep, I am very tired, I lack concentration, why do u use the word “FORCED”? If u have appreciated everything I do for u, you will offer to drive me like I always offered to pick u and not used the word “FORCED”. I felt not appreciated at all but I kept quiet. My conclusion is that , you are very sensitive to what people say about you, but you are not sensitive to what people have done for you. Baby, don’t take me for granted please, I have been treating u very good. Just like the incident on Christmas eve, I bought the duck rice for you, put at table and went to bed, and u say i put there is like for dog to eat. But have u ever think, I was not feeling well ?? I was in great menses pain ?? I almost fainted on the street ?? If I treat u no good, I don’t even have to bother to call u and ask u if u want to eat and buy back for you, I won’t even care if u eat or not, right? Baby, think of other people too, stop putting your own feelings always first. What u perceive may not be what really is. There’s always a reason for the cause.
When I know you, you have no money, u sold your car, you are in debt, u persuaded me to accept you, you say u will treat me very nice. I hesitated about your financial status but I thought about it seriously and accepted you as my bf because u said u will treat me very nice. From the moment I accepted you, I understand that this bf has nothing at the moment but I am willing to help him to build his career. I let u use my car, I lend u money, I never asked a cent from you, you should know in this 2 months, who has been paying most of the things. In these 2 months, I have spent about 7.5K (including the laptop). I never even asked you to pay me, i scared you dont have enough once you order the materials. And you wanted to move in to save money on rental, I ok, although I really think “saving money” is not a good reason to move in, you should tell me u wanted to stay with me, wanted to be with me every day, that sounds better. Still I keep quiet. If you think I look down on you, I won’t accept you in the first place, why should I help u so much ? Spend so much money on you for what ? I would better keep my money in bank and count the 7.5K or buy a LV bag, right? Baby, nobody looks down on you, except yourself. Stop being so sensitive ok. And i always follow u around, u like golf, i try to learn, u like fishing, even how tired i go with u, what else u want ? If i look down on u, why do i have to follow u around ? I can do my own things and ask u go yourself.
Going back to 2010. Just the feeling. In early December, u kept saying going here and there to bbq to celebrate Christmas. Though we missed the Christmas due to the argument, I thought u will plan for the New Year’s celebration. I suggested so many places for u, fishing, pub, movie, but u choose to stay at home. It’s just disappointment, we didn’t have anything to remember for the first Christmas and New Year we shared. I know all your heart is only thinking about golf now. For golf, you can skip your work to play golf. But to celebrate with me, u just need to work on your logo and stay home watch tv. This is plain disappointment dear, there’s no memories for me to remember in the future for the first Christmas an New Year we had. Still I kept quiet. And you know, I hate people sleep late and u know yourself, you have been sleeping so late these days. If you tell me it’s for work, u mean u can’t work in the day and sleep at night ? And I know u watch tv until very late too, I am a very light sleeper, i only deep sleep for 1 hour, after that I keep hearing the sound and waking up. You promised you will sleep early with me when there's no urgent drawings to submit. I really dont like people sleep late and u know it but u just keep doing it for no reason. Do u remember when was the last time u hug me to sleep ?
Dear I really find we lost the feeling we had when we are first together, we go parks, play angry bird together, go for movies, go shopping, I could feel u treat me very important then, but now u no longer. When u like then u talk to me, when u don’t u just ignore me. I am still trying very hard to get back this feeling, if only I can. You stopped calling and sms me every day which u used to, u stopped telling me where u go, what u do, who u meet every day which u used to. It become meaningless in a relationship if one day we don’t have the urge to see each other every day, don’t have the urge to tell each other everything, no more communication is the end of a relationship. We are only 2.5 months together but we already stopped talking. I am hoping u can open up and talk instead of getting angry all the time, its unhealthy in a relationship.
Dear I really find we lost the feeling we had when we are first together, we go parks, play angry bird together, go for movies, go shopping, I could feel u treat me very important then, but now u no longer. When u like then u talk to me, when u don’t u just ignore me. I am still trying very hard to get back this feeling, if only I can. You stopped calling and sms me every day which u used to, u stopped telling me where u go, what u do, who u meet every day which u used to. It become meaningless in a relationship if one day we don’t have the urge to see each other every day, don’t have the urge to tell each other everything, no more communication is the end of a relationship. We are only 2.5 months together but we already stopped talking. I am hoping u can open up and talk instead of getting angry all the time, its unhealthy in a relationship.
